The Counterintuitive Reason Why You Want Pain in Your Life
You may not want pain in your life, but you need it
You’re lying on the floor, wracked with sobs, curled up because you can’t take the pain anymore.
Pain boils through your body and you can’t understand. You can’t understand what you did to deserve this.
It feels like cruel and unusual punishment. You don’t know why this is happening to you. You plead for relief. Anything to make the pain go away.
You think the pain is a curse. Yet pain is a necessary part of life. Without pain, there would be no pleasure. You may not want pain in your life, but you need it.
Pain is a contrast
Without pain, you would not know what pleasure is. There would be no contrasting emotions, so you would have no barometer of what doesn’t feel good. Since you have pain, you know it’s unpleasant. But inversely, you can recognize when something does feel good.
It’s like the effect of a runner’s high. In running, runners exert so much effort they cross the pain threshold and enter a euphoric state. It’s the relief from the pain that leads them to pleasure.
The relief you receive from pain is powerful. It can enhance the feelings of happiness and decrease the feelings of sadness.
Adversity leads to growth
Going through pain teaches you adversity. Going through adversity is what makes you stronger. You will never get strong in life if you don’t go through the pain of adversity. Nothing can go your way all the time.
There will be times when the going gets rough, and it puts you to the test.
The result is that it teaches you empathy and humility. When you experience pain, you realize the humanity in it. You recognize pain as a bad thing and can empathize with those who share it.
It teaches you humility because it shows you’re not invincible. Pain shows you can be knocked down a peg or two. Sometimes you’ll end up in the dirt and it forces you to take a look at yourself.
From the ground, you either learn humility or to be a tool. Hopefully, you learn humility. You learn to be a tool because you have expectations about how life should be. You think that life should be easy and you shouldn’t have to go through hardships.
Thinking this way will only lead you to more pain down the road. It’s best if you learn humility now.
Ultimately, pain teaches you about yourself. You learn what you’re made of and what your limits are. Pain tests your character.
“People go through so much pain trying to avoid pain.” — Neil Strauss
Makes life meaningful
Pain connects you to the world. It captures your attention and brings you back to the moment. So often, it’s easy to live in your head.
You go about your day, wandering around with your head in the clouds. You never pay attention to what’s going on around you. For whatever reason, you ignore it. Pain brings your attention right back to the forefront.
Imagine stepping on a Lego. It hurts like hell, but at that moment you become hyper-aware and attuned to your surroundings. It puts you back on alert mode.
When you struggle, you learn to appreciate the smaller things.
Tough times teach you to appreciate the not-so-tough times. You recognize things could be much worse, and you find yourself grateful.
Through pain, you learn gratitude. You learn to appreciate things that don’t hurt. When things are bad, they’re bad. But when they’re good, they’re good.
Adversity doesn’t just teach you about yourself. It teaches you about others too.
It’s easy for people to behave nice and normal when things are going well. But when the chips are down, people show you their true colors. People show what they’re really made of when they face adversity.
Going through adversity will teach you about yourself, and it will teach you about your friends. It will show you who will be there for you when it counts. And some people will turn away. It’s unfortunate, but it’s better to know than find out later.
Trauma builds bonds
Have you ever been through a tragic event? Think about significant events. Events like 9/11. It was a terrible time in American history. Everyone was shattered by the losses and outright portrayal of evil.
But people rose from the rubble and connected on a deeper level. Going through something so awful built a bridge to connection. Human connection is best built through shared empathy.
The best way to do that is to share experiences. The more profound the experience, the deeper the bond.
Final Thoughts
When you’re in pain it’s all you can think about. It’s hard not to. The pain becomes unbearably bad and you’re unable to handle it. You consider shutting down. You feel like death and can’t wait for the pain to subside.
Consider being in pain a chance to tune into the moment. Tune into the pain and pay attention to what’s going on around you.
Your pain is what makes you strong. It makes you able to stand on your own two feet. Let your pain turn you into a stronger version of yourself.
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