5 Ways Society Pressures Women to Be Perfect
Women deserve so much more
When it comes to being a woman, it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t. A woman is always too much or not enough, but never good enough.
I used to contort myself and do anything to make myself smaller. I thought being a woman made me less than. Society wants us to be the ‘perfect’ woman.
And if you can’t be her, you’re shamed. No woman can be perfect, so they’re indebted to a life of scrutiny.
Here are a few ways society puts way too much pressure on women.
1. Ever the victim
Have you ever been victim-blamed? It’s not pleasant. You’re blamed for everything that goes wrong with you.
Women are warned against getting raped as if the perpetrator had nothing to do with it. You hear things like:
“Don’t drink too much.”
“Don’t walk alone at night.”
“She was asking for it.”
“Don’t wear provocative clothing.”
It’s a woman’s fault for how she was treated. The perpetrator has no responsibility for the circumstances, ever. Instead of targeting the perpetrator, the woman is blamed for putting herself in that situation.
2. You must be a ‘lady’
I grew up in the deep south, where I was taught from day 1 how to be ‘a lady.’ Women being taken seriously wasn’t a thing. We’re taught to play a certain role. There’s even a whole article on WikiHow telling you how to behave like a lady, in case you were wondering.
You’re given a list of things you can’t and can’t do.
Don’t put your elbows on the table.
Don’t slouch.
Be sweet and docile.
Be quiet.
You can never speak up for yourself or risk being too strong. You’ll be labeled aggressive or pushy, and that will be your reputation. Never be more. Rather, be a lady.
3. The double sword of sexuality
Society can’t seem to decide whether a woman should be virtuous or promiscuous. It doesn’t matter, anything that happens to her will be her fault (re: victim blaming).
Her skirt is too short. Her dress makes her look like a nun. She sleeps around like a man. She doesn’t give it up for anyone. She’s a prude, she’s a slut.
Someone always has something to say about a woman’s sexuality. I don’t see anyone trashing men’s sexuality. That’s because men are supposed to be sexual and women are meant for the male gaze.
4. Impossible standard of beauty
Did you know girls as young as 6 years old start considering cosmetic surgery? They’re still growing. They’ve barely taken shape in the world, and yet they already feel the pressure to be beautiful.
Everywhere I look, this impossible standard of beauty is forced upon women. The women we see on TV and in magazines are super models, who are near perfect. Their images have been photoshopped to perfection.
The evolution of the ideal body has changed, but the rhetoric hasn’t. A woman is never enough on her own.
Today, she has to have a big butt, big boobs, and a tiny waist. She’s tall and lean. She must be hairless and primed for effortless beauty. And it doesn’t stop.
5. No more children
A woman must want kids is what we’re told by society. If she doesn’t want kids, she’s selfish. She’s only thinking of herself. And yeah, she is. Because she doesn’t want to take care of another human. It’s a responsible decision rather than dooming a kid to a life of not being loved or wanted enough.
Birth rates are down around the world. Women have fewer children in their partnerships, and more women are deciding not to have children at all.
Yet, it’s a choice that seems to be up for debate. Whether it’s familial pressure from your mom, who wants to be a grandma desperately, or from society, who thinks women are here only for procreation and men’s pleasure.
Given the current state of the world, it’s no wonder more women are deciding against child-bearing. It’s a woman’s choice whether or not she should have children, yet our bodies are weaponized against us.
A woman’s body is her own to make choices. Whether she has children should be her decision, without any comments from the peanut gallery.
Final thoughts
There are many ways women are shamed and blamed in society. Newer generations are learning how to take back their power. And it’s well deserved.
After centuries, women are finally coming into their power. It’s been a long time coming. Women deserve better than this.
Women deserve so much more. And it’s about damn time.
