How I Learned to Stop Hating My Body
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In high school, I tried to start running. I would get on the treadmill, blast up the speed to as high as I could take it, and then I would last a total of two minutes. It was always incredibly frustrating.
I had this image in my head of myself running long distance on the beach, never breaking a stride and I was obsessed with that image. I wanted it more than anything. But I just could never get there.
Fast forward seven-ish years. I read a The Miracle Morning and it completely changed my perspective. The next morning, I found myself lacing up my shoes and getting out on the road.
It was a slow process as I started running more. I used the C25K app to help coach me, and it was working for the most part. Some weeks I would have to repeat, but something had changed. Something was different now than it was in high school.
In high school, I started running because I thought it was a get fit quick scheme. But now I had started running for a different reason. I wasn’t approaching it to get fit, but as a way of enjoying movement. I was exploring the way my body moved and how it felt.
What I found surprised me. Turns out, I really like running. It makes me happy. It gives me endorphins. I become one of those perky, annoying people you see and detest because they’re so perky, on the days that I run.
The more I ran, the more strong and powerful I felt. It made me feel good, and I started to realize that’s what I cared most about. How I felt.
It was dual process with educating myself about the body. I familiarized myself with intuitive eating and followed different accounts to what I usually followed. I learned how to tune into my body and listen to its’ cues.
I was done with fitspo and moving into a new era.
Slowly, my relationship with my body started to change. I started to nourish it with natural foods that my body started to crave. And I made moves to stop weighing myself.
And slowly, I became less obsessed with the numbers. I stopped counting calories and I stopped weighing myself. I listened to my body instead of listening to my brain chatter.
Out of all the different types of exercise I’ve tried, running is the one that speaks to me. So when I gave it a real try, I was surprised.
I craved running.
I would see people out running and I would silently cheer them on. In my dreams, my legs stretched on for miles at a time. On days that I didn’t run, I could feel it in my legs and the subtle hum of them wanting a run.
It permeated my being and I was better for it. Everyone should have something that makes them feel that way.
My advice?
If you’re struggling with your body or exercise, try tuning in to your body today and see what it says. Movement is meant to be enjoyed, so if you’re not enjoying running or yoga, try something different. Movement is movement. Try a new class or put on some music and just let your body go.
It’s much easier to fall in love with your body when you’re not fighting it. When you stop forcing to do something you don’t want to do, you can open yourself up to something that you do love. And when you love the thing that you’re doing, you love the way you feel, that’s when you know you found the one.
