Why You Should Stop Working On Personal Development
And enjoy the moment instead
Photo by Marcus Aurelius: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-leaning-on-her-table-4064174/
It’s been another long day, and you’re exhausted. You’re ready to get home, kick off your shoes, and watch the most recent episode of your binge-worthy TV series. But there’s this voice in the back of your head.
You’re not doing enough.
You’re always supposed to be doing something. Instead of using off time for R&R, you’re encouraged to spend that time working on your goals and personal development.
Does it ever stop?
You wonder if you’re doing something wrong. You thought you would be this happy, fulfilled person by now. You thought you would be sipping mojitos on a beach, living your best life.
But instead, it’s another night where you’re heating ramen, your mail is piling up, and your cat puked on the sofa.
You’re done with it all.
Growth is exponential
Count the numbers in your head. The numbers keep going up, no matter how many you add on the end. How far can you go before you finally give up?
Personal growth is a similar concept. There’s always going to be room to improve. Every time you work on something, another level will be above you.
You’ll never reach your full potential. Growth is supposed to be uplifting, but something about the fact you’ll never reach the finish line is defeating.
With personal growth, the finish line gets pushed back whenever you get close. It becomes tiring to do the work when you’re never going to get there. You’re waiting to reach the finish line and get the trophy, but you’ll never get there.
Most people rush to the end without realizing the finish line is death. What good is that if you don’t enjoy the process of getting there?
The goal is to enjoy the journey. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You want to appreciate all the small milestones in between.
Do you think people who run marathons hate running? Doubtful. If you hate running, you won’t enjoy the race, no matter how exhilarating crossing the finish line is.
Likewise, the process is what gives you joy. If it’s not giving you joy, it’s time to move on to something else.
Photo by Anthony Young on Unsplash
The grind
Perfection doesn’t exist. Growth is limitless and has an exponential curve. There’ll always be something you can do to improve.
You think that someday you’ll reach fulfillment, someday you’ll reach this fairytale perfect version of yourself. It’s the lie you’re sold in hopes you’ll do everything possible to get there.
Everything in life is sold to you, hoping you will buy it to make yourself into the ultimate you.
Wear nice clothes to look more attractive.
Bathe with expensive soaps and oils so you smell good.
Work out until you drop so you can be in peak physical health.
Never mind the grueling time and effort it takes to get there. What is it all for? You can grind away your entire life but never reach your full potential.
At one point, you have to find happiness in yourself. Screw the hustle of constant growth. You’re enough all on your own.
Time is an illusion
If you think hustle culture is exhausting, personal development culture is even worse. Personal growth spans into perpetuity.
There’s always something to do. And it’s exhausting.
You grind away, hoping it’ll all pay off one day. You work tirelessly in the hopes that one day everything will be easier. But that day never comes.
Tomorrow is the day that never comes.
Since all you have is the present moment, you’re always looking ahead to the future. But the present moment drones on, and the future never really comes. You’re always going to be stuck in the present.
The future is a distant concept you’re told to dream about. The present is the gift that keeps giving because it never ends.
Lessons learned
This can be discouraging, to say the least. You put in all this work and effort and have nothing to show. So, why bother at all?
Life isn’t something you conquer or achieve. It’s something you live. It’s a journey. Life isn’t about the finish line.
You can grind away your entire life, counting down milestones until you reach the next one, or you can slow down.
Slow down and catch your breath. You’re rushing to the finish with no second thought.
Instead of chasing the next high, find pleasure in the journey. Celebrate the small wins and victories. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you have.
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Maggie Kelly is a freelance writer who writes about mental health, self-help, and psychology. Contact at maggiepkelly@gmail.com
