The Quarter Life Crisis: Why You Feel Listless and Despair Most of the Time

It’s not as uncommon as you think

Have you ever seen a middle-aged white man freak out and buy a fancy sports car?

How about a middle-aged woman suddenly taking on a much younger lover?

You’ve heard of a half-life crisis, but have you heard of a quarter-life crisis?

Chances are you’ve experienced it, but you didn’t know.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been experiencing a quarter-life crisis for half a decade now. It’s been this huge chunk of my life feeling like I’m not quite sure what I’m doing.

What do I want to do?

Who do I want to be?

And all other kinds of questions that I would ask myself on a near daily basis. My life revolved around these questions and my dissatisfaction in life. I looked around at my friends, getting jobs, getting married, and having kids.

It felt like everyone else had their stuff figured out and was moving on with their life. I felt like I was left behind in the dust.

That is until I learned about the quarter-life crisis. It explained everything I was feeling and more. And the more I talked to my friends about it, the more I realized they were experiencing it too. They just hid it well.

So, I dug deep and went out to research the phenomenon.

What is a quarter-life crisis?

You’ve mostly heard of a midlife crisis. That’s when your parents freak out and question everything they knew about their life. It’s the same thing, but happening in a younger generation.

It often happens as young adults go through change. As they begin to adapt to new lifestyles, they start to feel emotionally unstable, anxious and grieve.

This is most significantly occurring between ages 25 and 35, right around the time people are graduating college and entering the ‘real world.’

At this time, they begin to question everything they knew and realize they don’t know what they want long-term. A study performed by gumtree indicated that 86% of young adults have experienced a quarter-life crisis.

A quarter life-crisis is a time of stress and uncertainty in a young adult’s life. It’s often characterized by:

Life feels meaningless and you lack a sense of purpose
Difficulty making decisions
You’re languishing
You have no motivation
More fatigued and stressed than usual
You may feel anxious and depressed
You fear making change
Your confidence has taken a hit

The four stages

Research conducted by Harvard Business Review showed there are four stages of the quarter-life crisis.

You feel trapped by a commitment — it may be a job, school, or relationship
Ending that commitment leads to isolation and feeling alone
You start to reflect and follow new interests
You come out happier and with a sense of purpose

Common stressors

There are a number of reasons which may lead to a crisis.

Job insecurity
Loss of a loved one
Graduating college
Financial insecurity
Moving to a new place
Navigating relationships
Living alone for the first time

Coping with crisis

Start with self-reflection. Take some time and space and give yourself the chance to reflect. Ask yourself how you are feeling and what you are experiencing.

Slow down and allow yourself to create greater awareness. Start to journal or meditate and allow thoughts and feelings to come and go as they please.

Make decisions. The world is full of possibilities. When you look out and see all the opportunities, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You worry about making the “wrong” decision.

There are no right or wrong decisions, but you have to make a decision. Make decisions from a place of growth instead of from fear.

Trust the process. It will be hard and you will doubt your decisions. This is natural. It doesn’t mean you picked the wrong thing. It’s going to be difficult and uncomfortable.

You will come out on the other side of it. As long as you keep going, you’ll come out on the other side happier for what you went through.

Final thoughts

It’s not uncommon to go through a quarter-life crisis. As much as it sucks, it’s natural to be stressed out and anxious. You’re spending time alone, reflecting on what matters to you in life.

This is a good thing because you’re going to come out on the other side stronger. You’ll get through this.

You’re not alone if you’re struggling. You might be a little lost, but you will be found again.

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