You’re Never Going to Be Happy
You don’t want to be happy.
When I think of happiness, I think of lightness. Bright, cheery, sunshine, and all smiles. Happiness is a great feeling, and that’s exactly what I’m talking about.
Everybody wants to be happy. We look at happiness as the mea culpa achievement in life.
Unfortunately, I have bad news for you. Happiness is not something you can achieve.
Happiness is an emotion. You feel happy the same way I feel tired, or you feel sad. Happy is an emotional state, and emotions are forever in flux.
Emotions are those fun things humans were equipped with that we never wanted but needed.
You assume that you’re working towards happiness. That you’ll be happy someday.
You use statements like, ‘I’ll be happy when I can pay the rent.’ ‘I’ll be happy when I get a raise.’ ‘I’ll be happy when…’ And the list goes on.
There’s this pervasive message in our culture about happiness and success that says we have to be successful, and happiness is one more thing for us to acquire.
‘Happiness’ has nothing to do with success.
Truth be told, being happy is way easier than you think it is.
I think when we talk about being happy, we mean something else. Instead of happiness, I think we want to be content.
Being content and being happy are similar, but the distinction is important. They’re both emotions, but being content is like a level above happiness. Content doesn’t fluctuate in the same way. Being content is more like a state of being that you can prolong.
If you are content, you are satisfied, which I think is ultimately what we’re after. You want to feel satisfied in life. It fills you up inside.
If you’re not satisfied, it feels like you have a hole in your chest or like something is missing. Being satisfied means you aren’t chasing after this intangible source of meaning.
I feel content with my life, and I didn’t for a long time.
So how do you feel satisfied? A lot of it is reframing your perspective. Gratitude also helps because it helps you to appreciate the things you do have in your life.
This is important because it means you’ll start looking for more things to appreciate and soon you will feel appreciative. And that’s one of the stepping stones towards happiness.
You have to learn how to be happy with yourself as is.
Happiness is not a destination. It’s not something you accomplish when you’ve finally done just enough.
Being happy doesn’t mean your life is going to be perfect either. Life isn’t perfect and it’s never going to be. You just learn how to deal with it and increase your resilience.
Being happy should just mean you’re satisfied. It shouldn’t be a mythical state of being that you’re forever chasing.
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