Why You Self Sabotage and Get in the Way of Your Success
There you are spending another night drinking and insta-stalking your ex. You didn’t mean to do it, it just kind of happened.You promise you’ll get sober next month. That is until your friends invite you for a night out. You feel yourself slipping back into familiar, self-sabotaging patterns.You don’t know why you do it.Self-sabotage is a pattern of thoughts and actions you take that creates negative consequences for yourself.As it turns out, self-sabotage is an act of preservation. The two things humans must do to survive are avoiding threats and attaining rewards.There are many reasons you may find yourself self-sabotaging.Common Reasons for Self-Sabotaging
- Low self-worth
- Instant gratification
- Modeled in your family
- Fear of rejection/failure
- Familiar, yet harmful, patterns
And better yet, all of the above.Once you identify that you self-sabotage, you can work to undo it. You can actively work on rectifying it.The most important part of defeating self-destructive behavior is becoming aware of it. Once you become aware you can work on other aspects, such as
- Becoming more assertive
- A stronger sense of autonomy
- Not being afraid of conflict
- Knowing how to set boundaries
- Expressing your feelings
- Taking initiative
- Liking yourself as you are
These are not easy steps to accomplish. Your self-sabotaging patterns are ingrained in you.They are like defense mechanisms. Something to protect you from everything going wrong.But you don’t have to self-sabotage.You don’t have to put yourself down.You don’t have to destroy your chances of success.Once you’ve identified the action, you can work towards a solution.You can throw away self-sabotaging behaviors.You can live a non-judgmental life.You can be free.
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