This Small Handful of Useful Tips Make It Much Easier to Connect with New People
Try these 7 tips to make your new best friend
Your drink glides down the back of your throat, coating your already dry mouth. You can barely keep the butterflies in your stomach down.
You’re out alone, or with friends, and you’re ready to meet some new people. The problem is it makes you nervous as hell. People are difficult to talk to, and what if you say the wrong thing?
You don’t want to make a fool out of yourself. You’re a nervous wreck. You don’t want to ruin your chances of making a new friend.
Here are a few tips to help smooth the friction.
The first word
Every conversation starts with one word. It takes courage to go up to a person, but once you’ve said the first word, the conversation becomes easier.
Once you initiate a conversation, it gets easier to talk. But it requires saying those first words. Those first words open the gate to having a more in-depth conversation.
Go up to someone you find interesting and say, “Hi.” Chances are they’ll respond back and you’ll get a conversation going.
Ask an opinion
Everyone has an opinion and wants it validated. Asking someone for an opinion opens up a two-way street, which is where the real conversation begins.
Don’t ask for an opinion on something difficult — like politics, war, or religion. Keep it generic. What do they think of their meal? What was the last movie they saw? The questions don’t have to be hard.
People reveal themselves in these quiet moments. That’s when you have to be quiet and listen.
Skip the small talk
The biggest challenge to a conversation is small talk. You can waste your conversation over formalities that don’t matter. Make the conversation count and go deeper.
Have meaningful Big Talk instead. When asking questions, use the three criteria: meaningful, universal, and open-ended.
Skip the small talk and go straight for a personal question. You don’t need to ask for their social, but ask something more personable than, “How’s it going?”
Ask how long they’ve been in the city or where they’re from. You’ll be surprised how many people will open up to more profound questions.
Find ‘me-toos’
Nothing kills a conversation like a negative. Make an effort to find what you and the other person have in common. Conversation will become easier once you’ve established this.
When you find a ‘me-too’, you automatically have buy-in with the other person. It puts you on the same side as the other person, and it’s a powerful feeling.
You’re both in the same place at the same time. You will find something in common.
Pay a unique compliment
People will forget what you do and they will forget what you say. But they will never forget how you made them feel.
Try and construct a compliment that’s unique and genuine. Give someone a nice, full compliment tailored to them.
Avoid generic compliments like ‘nice,’ ‘awesome,’ or ‘smart.’ While these are okay compliments, they don’t say much about the other person.
Tell your friend you love how generous they are to those in need. Or their smile is so bright it lights up the whole room.
Remember the tiny details
The little details are what matter the most. People who remember those details make you feel special. You can do the same for others.
If you can remember their kids’ names, or dog’s name, or what their current passion project is, you make them feel important.
You make them feel like what they said mattered. Make an effort to remember and it will leave an impact.
Be present
There is nothing worse than being in a conversation when you realize the other person isn’t listening. Either they’re distracted by their phone or they’ve tuned out from the conversation.
If you’re going to be in a conversation, be present. Pay attention. Make eye contact. Put your phone away and focus on what’s in front of you.
People love it when you give them your undivided attention. And it helps increase your sense of connection.
Final Thoughts
Meeting people is hard. It’s much easier when it’s built into your life via school or work. It’s hard to go up to someone and introduce yourself.
You’re always worried about sticking your foot in your mouth. But you miss the shots you don’t take. If you don’t put yourself out there, you’ll never meet new people.
If you don’t try, there won’t be anything to ruin. You can play it safe. Or you can give it a shot.
Who knows? You might make your new best friend.
