One Quick & Easy Trick to Improving Your Relationships Daily
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Chirp Chirp
Does this exchange sound familiar?
“hey”
“What’s up?”
“Nm, you?”
Then, crickets…
Whenever you get a text, it’s a wonderful feeling. You smile and feel warm inside because someone is thinking of you. Then, the conversation fizzles out as quickly as it started.
Why is that?
Your conversations lack substance. To have a good relationship, you have to have real discussions about what’s happening in each other’s lives.
You can strengthen your relationships by sending one text message daily to one of your contacts. Ask them real questions about themselves, not surface-level things. Avoid small talk if you can.
If you’re feeling stuck, here’s a list of questions to get you started:
What is your biggest regret?
What are you most afraid of?
What makes you feel really alive?
What are you most passionate about?
What is your number one priority today?
What do you hope to achieve in five years?
What don’t you spend enough time doing?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Are you working on anything interesting at the moment?
What were you doing the last time you lost track of time?
What’s an interest you have that most people don’t know about?
What would you want to do today if you knew you would die tomorrow?
Tell me about a time you were excited by something.
What are you most looking forward to right now?
What’s an interesting thing you learned lately?
What’s something you’re really into right now?
What problem do you wish you could solve?
Don’t Do This
The rudest/worst way to do this is to ask a question, get a response, and then do nothing. No follow-up. You ghost. You asked the question and now you feel stuck.
There are two ways you can handle this. You can
Validate
OR
2. Ask a follow-up question
Let’s talk about how to do this.
Often when people are expressing their situation, they’re looking to connect. They’re not looking for advice. Unless they ask you what to do, don’t give unsolicited advice.
Validate what they’re going through. You can ask them more about it or ask a different question altogether.
If you’re struggling to validate someone, say something like:
I believe in you.
I’m proud of you.
That sounds rough.
I would feel the same way.
I see how hard you are working.
I’m sorry you had to go through that.
That must have been really hard for you.
It must have been difficult to open up about…
I can totally understand why you felt that way.
I‘m glad you feel comfortable enough to share this with me.
You can ask them for more details or clarity about their situation. Ask them how they feel about it or what they want to do.
As long as you show compassion and understanding, there’s no wrong way to do this. Although it’s unlikely, don’t dismiss what they’re going through. You chose to reach out for a reason. Don’t be a jerk.
The nature of texting is different because you’re not face-to-face. It’s more common for people to respond on the go or when free, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put your texting to good use.
You could be forward and ask if they have time to talk or schedule a time to text.
Pick one of your friends or contacts you’d like to talk to or learn more about. Send them a quick text.
Even if you don’t ask them anything, getting a “Thinking of you” text is always nice.
A better relationship is one text away.
Ready to level yourself up and become the best version of yourself? Download my free journaling guide now.
Maggie Kelly is a freelance writer who writes about mental health, self-help, and psychology. Contact at maggiepkelly@gmail.com
