How to Find Crystal Clear Clarity in Your Strengths & Create Confidence in Yourself
Photo by Randy ORourke on Unsplash
The hair on the back of your neck is sticking up. You’re being watched. Every move, every muscle is being scrutinized by your peers. At least, that’s what it feels like.
You have no clue what you’re doing, and it shows. You feel insecure.
You wish you knew what you were doing. You wish you knew what you were good at. You wish you felt more confident in your skin. Good news: you can feel that way.
There are a few things you can do to get there.
Show Up
Here’s a hard truth: life isn’t meant to be easy. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be worth living. Pain and discomfort make life worth living. You have to know what sucks to know what’s good in life.
It’s important to have contrasting elements because they highlight the differences. You have to face setbacks in order to have won. And you have to face pain to know pleasure.
This is important to know because you’ll want to give up. You’ll think life is too hard, and you’re not cut out for it. You are. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.
You have to commit every day to show up. It’s not easy. But it is simple.
Showing up is a small feat. All it means is you’re committing to support and love yourself. It’s the commitment to show up even in the face of adversity.
Not every day will be good. Showing up is about the practice. It’s about putting yourself first and working to build a life you love.
Nobody is expecting you to be perfect. But by showing up, you take control of your life. This consistency pays off in the long run because it increases life satisfaction.
The good news about showing up is that you learn to be comfortable and confident.
Action breeds confidence. And the more you show up and do things, the more confident you become.
“Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” — Parker Palmer
Strengths and Weaknesses
A large part of having clarity in life means discovering what you’re good at. You discover both your strengths and weaknesses, your fears and dreams, and your goals and frustrations.
Self-awareness is the bedrock of confidence. The better you know yourself, the more equipped you are.
There are a few ways to go about this.
Personality tests
Personality tests are a popular way to learn more about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know more about yourself. In fact, the more you know about yourself, the better your life quality.
It puts you in a better place to serve others because you know your strengths and what you love.
Life is a dual process of helping others and yourself.
Some popular personality tests include:
The Big 5 — OCEAN
OCEAN is the Big Five personality test. It’s regarded as the best measure of personality.
Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism
Each trait is measured to give you an overall score to reflect your personality.
Myers Briggs
Another popular personality test is the Myers-Briggs personality test. It scores you on four components: Introversion/Extraversion, Intuitive/Observant, Feeling/Thinking, and Judging/Prospecting.
There are 16 personality types under Myers-Briggs, each with a name. For example, an INFP is a Mediator.
These measures can give you an insight into how you interact with the world. The test will tell you more about yourself.
Enneagram
One of the more complex tests is the enneagram. There are nine different enneagram types. Each type is connected to the other, as personality is largely fluid. Each type has wings that sit next to them and arrows of stress and growth. These show how your personality interacts and changes.
Ask the question
If you struggle to see yourself clearly, others can see better. Seek out friends, family, and acquaintances you trust.
Ask them what your strengths and weaknesses are. Chances are they may see something you don’t.
Try not to take these personally. If you’re going to ask, try to detach yourself from the answers.
But, other people can see parts of you that you might not recognize. They can see your blindspots.
Photo by Clint Patterson on Unsplash
Be a scientist
When it comes down to it, the best thing you can do is try. Be willing to be wrong. Be willing to fuck up. Be willing to make mistakes.
You’re going to make mistakes. That’s awesome. Mistakes are a good thing because you can learn from them.
Learn to see mistakes as a learning opportunity. What can you take out of them so they don’t happen again?
The best thing you can do is experiment. Experimenting is the quickest way to learn and gain confidence.
Every time you experiment, you gain data. That data tells you what’s going right and wrong. You gain experience. You learn what you like and what you don’t.
The best part is the more you experiment, the more confident you become.
Know Your Value
All of this confidence will lead to one place: knowing your value. Being confident is a wonderful thing.
You don’t want to be insecure your entire life. It’ll make you feel weak. It’ll make you feel judged. It’ll make you feel worthless.
You are worth so much more. Don’t let your insecurities bully you into submission. Decide to show up daily and watch how you transform.
Your commitment can change your life.
Show up.
Ready to level yourself up and become the best version of yourself? Download my free journaling guide now.
Maggie Kelly is a freelance writer who writes about mental health, self-help, and psychology. Contact at maggiepkelly@gmail.com
