How to Be Comfortable Being Alone
And sitting in silence
It can be uncomfortable being alone.
The room feels too big, and the silence is too loud. It’s like you’re a tiny boat lost in an expansive, unending sea of solitude. Being alone doesn’t have to be scary.
It takes real courage and guts to be able to sit with yourself. And today, you’re embarking on that path. It may seem scary initially, but trust me. It’s wonderful once you get used to it.
You’ll learn to be your own best company, to savor the quiet instead of fearing it. You’ll discover that being alone doesn’t have to mean feeling lonely.
It’s about time we bust through these daunting shadows of solitude and bask in the liberating glow of self-companionship. Ready? Let’s dive in.
Discover the Undeniable Benefits of Solitude
Before discussing the how-to, let’s talk about the why. Why should you bother spending time by yourself? Spending time alone offers a multitude of benefits:
Self-Discovery: When you’re alone, you can deeply understand yourself — your likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. It can foster introspection and self-awareness, both of which are crucial for personal growth.
Productivity: You're not as distracted when you’re by yourself. You can be more productive and focused when nobody is there to distract you. Solitude enhances productivity and efficiency.
Emotional Resilience: You build emotional resilience by spending time alone. It helps make you more comfortable with your thoughts and feelings. Spending time alone also helps manage stress and adversity.
Creativity: Solitude often sparks creativity. It provides the space for your mind to wander, explore new ideas, and think outside the box.
Mindfulness: Being alone can also promote mindfulness. It encourages you to live in the present moment, be more attuned to your senses, and appreciate the world around you.
Self-Reliance: Spending time alone nurtures self-reliance. You’ll boost your confidence and independence by relying on yourself.
Rest and Recharge: Finally, alone time is an opportunity to rest and recharge physically and mentally. It allows you to reset, reducing the risk of burnout and enhancing overall well-being.
Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash
Master the Art of Self Reflection
You might not know what to do when you’re alone with yourself. It’s tempting to distract yourself with hobbies or television.
Being alone gives you time and space by yourself. Many people don’t like being alone because it brings up bad memories and old wounds. But it’s the best way to process and heal old wounds.
You’ll use it to your advantage and take back the power. With nobody around, you can be there for yourself and your inner child in a different way. You can step back and be kind and nonjudgemental.
When difficult thoughts and emotions come up, don’t hide from them. Face them head-on. Decide to show up for yourself and be compassionate. Don’t judge yourself for these thoughts and feelings.
They’re yours, and they’re valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
It’s going to sound funny, but you can talk to yourself. In the stillness, your inner self finally feels comfortable enough to come out.
It’s an excellent opportunity to learn about yourself. Ask yourself what you want. Ask what’s bothering you. Ask what’s stopping you. The answers may surprise you.
Trust yourself and your instincts. Nobody can tell you what’s right for you. Often, you know exactly what you need, but you have to uncover it first.
Once you’ve done that, you can lean into the exploration phase. As you experiment and try things, pay attention to how you feel. Does it energize or drain you? Do you find it exciting or mind-numbing?
These answers will lead you down the best path for yourself.
Embrace Your Inner Child
Do you ever wish you were a kid again? Remember the times when life wasn’t so difficult? Sometime in the past, you were a kid who loved life. It’s time to revisit them.
One of the coolest parts about spending time with yourself is self-discovery. It’s like peeking into a whole new world and immersing yourself in it. Getting to know your inner child is the best way to do this.
Your inner child refers to the kid inside you, with all your flaws and quirks. It’s a part of your subconscious that’s picked up messages and lessons around you, even when you were too young to understand.
As you grew up, you stopped seeing all the magic and fun. We’re conditioned to “grow up” and enter the “real world.” But who is to say that’s right?
Getting to know your inner child is critical to help you feel more at ease when you’re alone. It’s time to bring back that carefree mindset when you had no worries.
Children live in this world where everything is magical. Embrace that curiosity and explore the world. Experiment with different interests, pick up an old hobby, or learn something new. The world is full of possibilities.
I love swingsets. Something about them speaks to my inner child, and they make me feel carefree again. Whenever I see a swing set, I bound off to get on.
That’s the energy you want. Try some of these when you’re in doubt and don't know where to start.
Write or draw
Go to the park
Play with old toys
Paint outside the lines
Build things with Legos
Dance outside in the rain
Make believe you’re a pirate
By embracing playfulness and curiosity, you’ll enjoy your company and feel less uncomfortable in solitude.
Allow yourself to fully give in to your inner child. Get to know yourself a bit better.
Challenge Yourself
Once you’ve spent some time doing this, you establish boundaries and a base level. You’ve found a comfort zone but can’t stay in it, or you’ll never grow.
There’s no point in living half a life. This is your life. You should enjoy it.
If you enjoy being creative and don’t have enough of it in your life, create space and time for it.
You have to make the space for things you want in life.
This is your opportunity to live more in line with your values. It’s your opportunity to be yourself and live authentically.
Being alone is a wonderful thing.
You don’t have to worry about others’ opinions. You can do whatever you want.
Once you’ve started to get comfortable by yourself, it’s time to start challenging yourself. Step outside of your comfort zone and try new things.
Take yourself to that new restaurant you want to go to. You don’t need anyone’s permission. You’re an adult. Make your own decisions.
Maybe one of the most empowering things you can do is move to a new place. But if that’s not in your wheelhouse, you could
Walk in the park
Visit the museum
Learn the guitar
Solo travel
etc.
As you embrace the discomfort, you’ll find that’s where true satisfaction lies. You become independent. And if you’re taking life into your hands, on your terms, you’ll be way happier.
Celebrate Your Independence
Congratulations, you’re now comfortable being by yourself. It’s a magical feeling. It doesn’t make you impervious to the challenges of the world. But chances are you’ve realized you’re much stronger than you think.
It’s nice when you can enjoy your own company. It means you don’t have to rely on anyone else. It means you can entertain yourself.
Find the joy in being free to do what you want, when you want, without needing external validation or companionship.
Now, you meet a whole new person: you. It’s wonderful to meet you.
You’re a free bird now. Go fly.
Ready to level yourself up and become the best version of yourself? Download my free journaling guide now.
Maggie Kelly is a freelance writer who writes about mental health, self-help, and psychology. Contact at maggiepkelly@gmail.com
