The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: How to Break the Cycle of Destruction

Your beliefs create your reality

a man's head erupting — Image credit: Lexica

Have you ever been frustrated with yourself?

Have you ever wondered why you keep self-sabotaging?

Have you ever considered you’re in the middle of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a fancy way of saying your beliefs create your reality. You may be consciously or unconsciously stuck in a cycle of destruction.

Say you don’t believe you’re smart. You’re sure you’re going to fail that next math test. So, you give up.

Instead of studying, you watch Netflix or go out with friends. When the exam comes around, you’re looking at hieroglyphics. You failed the test.

You’re not smart.

You’re living out a harmful cycle. In this article, I’m going to break down the cycle and how it works. Then, I’m going to share how to break the cycle. Are you ready?

graphic of the self-fulfilling cycle — image created by author in Canva

The Cycle in Action

I’m a lucky person — good things happen to me. But why is that?

When I was a child, my mom told me my name means ‘lucky.’ I grew up believing that to be true.

As a result, I search for events that fit that narrative. Whenever something good happens, I recognize it, reinforcing my belief that I’m lucky.

The self-fulfilling prophecy breaks down like this.

Beliefs

You have your belief system. Some beliefs are conscious, and some are unconscious.

Since you were born, you’ve picked up subconscious messaging about the world. Those messages formed your belief system. And what you believe informs your perceptions and actions in the world.

Expectations

You expect the world to be a certain way. Maybe you believe people are bad. You expect people to be mean. Your brain will seek out experiences that confirm that.

You’ll see someone on the street litter and think, “They’re a bad person.”

Behavior

This, in turn, informs your actions. The ‘bad’ person puts you in a bad mood. You become rude. Your attitude affects the people and world around you.

Results

Since you were rude, other people have been rude back. People have avoided you. They cast disappointing glances your way.

Their responses to your actions enforce your original beliefs.

People are bad.

All this happened because of your original belief. And the cycle continues until you become aware and do something about it.

a man stuck running on a wheel — Image credit: Lexica

How to Break the Cycle

Now you know you’re stuck in a cycle. You’re wondering, “How the heck do I get out of this?” Glad you asked.

1. The Awareness Stage

The first step to change is self-awareness. You have to become aware this is going on.

Stop and slow down. Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors. Don’t judge yourself. Just make a mental note.

This can be hard because you aren’t always aware of your patterns. If you’re struggling, consider seeing a therapist. They can provide an objective view.

2. The Change Stage

After you’ve observed your behavior, it’s time to enact change. Decide consciously what you’re changing and how you’re changing it.

If you decide to break the cycle of eating unhealthy, start by adding a vegetable to your meal every day.

Here are some other ways you can change:

Start a journal. Write down what your beliefs are and analyze them. Ask why you feel that way and if that belief serves you.
Choose what you want your new beliefs to be.
Do affirmations and say your new beliefs out loud.
Look for instances that enforce these new beliefs.
Make a conscious choice to break old habits.

It’s going to be a slow process. Every new thought and action creates a vote toward your new identity. You have to repeat and be patient.

3. The Maintenance Stage

Changing your beliefs is difficult. You’re going to face resistance and mess up. That’s okay.

Part of the change is being kind to yourself. Right now, you need to focus on small, repeatable habits.

When you mess up, give yourself a hug. Know it doesn’t erase your progress. It’s a bump in the road, but you’re still going forward.

Creating Positive Cycles

It sucks when you don’t believe in yourself. It’s worse when you’re trapped and don’t even know it.

But you’ve taken the first crucial step. You’re aware. You know what’s getting in your way and how to change it.

You have the power to create a new future. You get to dictate whether your beliefs help or hinder you. You have the power to choose.

You can choose to ditch your negative self-fulfilling prophecies.

You can choose to create new and better self-fulfilling prophecies.

You can choose better.

It’s all up to you.

Ready to level yourself up and become the best version of yourself? Download my free journaling guide now.

Maggie Kelly is a freelance writer who writes about mental health, self-help, and psychology. Contact at maggiepkelly@gmail.com