What Are Your Personal Values? (& How to Define Them)
The importance of living your personal values
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
Ever found yourself at a crossroads, unsure which path feels truly right? That’s where understanding your personal values comes into play.
Everyone has these inner compasses, pointing them toward decisions that resonate with their true selves. But how often do you pause and really listen?
Maybe you’re hoping to nail down what drives your daily choices, or you’re curious about what makes you, well, you.
You want to define and live your values, but you have no idea where to start. Buckle up because we’re about to go on an adventure and answer those very questions.
What Are Values?
Values are beliefs, attitudes, opinions, and qualities important to you. They are fundamental beliefs that determine how you see the world and yourself.
Where Do Values Come From?
Often, values develop when you’re young. Your environment plays a significant part in developing your values.
Values often come from your upbringing, culture, and social background. Chances are you picked up on values that your family and friends have.
Your values come from how you experience the world.
When I was a kid, I did many things by myself. My mom is a super independent person, and I learned from her.
Early on, I got familiar with cooking for myself and being content on my own. I valued independence, like my mom, and still do today.
Why Are Values Good to Have?
Values act like your guiding compass. They help you live with direction and purpose. When you’re in touch with your values, you can live an authentic experience.
Your values are linked to your sense of self, whether you’re aware or not. It’s why some things feel good, and others don’t. If you feel guilty stealing, you know that goes against your moral compass.
Your internal compass tells you what’s right and wrong. It also tells you when you vibe with something. When something feels right, you know it.
For instance, I always feel good when I create something. I’ve always loved the process of creating, which is something I value.
When you follow your values, you feel the best in your life. You’re pursuing things that matter to you.
Life is best when you can prioritize what matters and follow suit. When you go against your priorities or values, you may feel you’re going in the wrong direction. I’m not kidding when I say it’s like a compass.
When you follow your values, it feels like you’re on track and going the right way.
Photo by nine koepfer on Unsplash
How Can You Discover Your Values?
Now that we’ve covered the importance of your values let’s discuss how you can uncover your values.
Identify times you were the happiest.
Think back to when you felt joy in your life. Ask yourself :
What were you doing?
Who were you doing it with?
What else may have contributed to your happiness?
2. Identify times you felt proud.
Pride normally comes from a sense of accomplishment. Ask yourself:
Why were you proud?
Were there other people sharing your pride?
What else may have contributed to your pride?
3. Identify times you felt fulfilled and satisfied.
When you feel fulfilled, it means something is going right. Ask yourself:
What need or desire was fulfilled?
Why did the experience give you meaning?
What else may have contributed to your fulfillment?
4. Mine your life stories.
Your past experiences can tell you what you value. Reflect on your past experiences and see if they have common threads.
Maybe you once saw someone be rude to their waitress, and you didn’t like it. Then, you might value kindness.
5. Think of what legacy you want to leave.
Consider what kind of impact you want to leave on the world. What do you want people to know you for? Do you want to be known for your:
Loyalty
Honesty
Kindness
Ambition
Intelligence
How you want to leave the world will guide you toward your values.
How Can You Change Your Values?
You may decide that your current values no longer serve you. If that’s the case, it may be time to change your values. Here’s how you can do that.
Decide what kind of life you want to live.
Your new values start with realizing your old ones are no longer working. Look at your current life and decide what a successful and meaningful life looks like to you.
2. Figure out which values are required.
Choose the values that best reflect the life you want to live.
3. Prioritize the most important.
Once you have a list of values from 6–10, list them in order of importance. Put two side by side and pick which resonates more. Do this until you’ve got your list. Now have a guide to act accordingly.
Photo by João Ferreira on Unsplash
How Do You Live Your Values?
The most important part of choosing your values is ensuring you live in accordance. Otherwise, you’ll feel misaligned.
If you value honesty but tell your partner a white lie, do you really value honesty?
Part of defining your values means that you stick to them. Write down your values somewhere you can see. Remind yourself of them frequently.
When setting goals, keep your values in mind. If you set a goal to save money, it doesn’t make sense to go out every weekend drinking with friends.
Make decisions based on what’s important. If your goal is to learn a new language, try to learn. Watch Netflix, listen to podcasts, read books, all in another language.
It all comes down to acting with intention.
What Do You Do Next?
Here’s the thing: It’s not just about knowing who you are. It’s about honoring and living that truth daily. That’s where diving deep into your personal values comes into play.
Find out what you value right now and make intentional decisions. Let your values guide you.
Your values are dynamic. They will continue to change throughout your life. And if you’re unhappy where you are now, it might be time to reassess your values and if you’re following them.
Visualize a life where your actions, thoughts, and feelings all align seamlessly. Feel the power radiate through your bones.
You’re ready to conquer the world.
Ready to level yourself up and become the best version of yourself? Download my free journaling guide now.
Maggie Kelly is a freelance writer who writes about mental health, self-help, and psychology. Contact at maggiepkelly@gmail.com
